So, this is the post I have been procrastinating on writing for months now. As I am sure you are aware, things are not well in the world right now. I have waited to write this update while looking at what I would need to do in order for my business to survive the pandemic and simultaneously looking ahead on when I may possibly be able to return services.
As of this moment all live concerts are cancelled until June of 2022, at the earliest.
Photography as a service may not be returning at all. Given that I have lost the entirety of 2020’s workload, with special consideration to the loss of an entire year’s wedding season (which provides the majority of my income), the cost of maintaining business as an event photographer in a world where there are no longer events is simply too much. As a result, I have made the painful decision to go out of business as a photographer for the foreseeable future. As of today, the earliest I can possibly (and safely) restore photography services would be roughly 2023 or even 2024.
Performances in 2022 are likely to be a strange thing as well. Many of the venues that I have relied on for the past 20 years have either permanently closed as a result of prolonged lockdowns ravaging their revenue, or will no longer be hosting live entertainment when they come back, even years down the line, out of the fear that crowds could spread disease. Many of these venues are looking at permanent distancing measures and a massive reduction of capacity born from the trauma we are all enduring, and the additional groups that come from live entertainment would not be conducive to these new environments. What concerts two years from now will be like, or where they will even be held, is just as mysterious to me as it is to all of you.
While on the subject of setbacks, I must also make note of CD Baby’s changes that have had a negative impact on myself and many other artists. I have used CD Baby for years now as both a major storefront and for digital distribution on all your favourite apps like Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Music. About 90% of all my music sales came from the CD Baby store. It was at the end of this past March, when the company was trying to help artists through this time of cancellations and fear, that CD Baby abruptly retired their storefront with only 48 hours’ notice to the artists using it in order to focus entirely on digital distribution (which makes only about 5% of my annual income for sales). The notice came by way of a post to social media that I saw randomly in my chaotic Facebook news feed. Not an email to long time artists, no warning, just kaput.
Despite taking a larger percentage out of sales, I have had a preference for Bandcamp for several years now given that there is no cost to release new music, no UPC codes required and I can re-upload new master tracks or edit audio without having to remove a record and pay for it all over again. The only downside is the lack of digital distribution, but as that makes such a pitiful amount by comparison it is far from the end of the world. My entire discography is, and always has been, on Bandcamp principally and that platform is the only place to find new music from my studio. I will eventually digitally distribute my back catalogue, but due to the debacle with CD Baby, I have changed my decision to wait six months between the Bandcamp and CD Baby versions to a year (or more, given the financial hardships that I am experiencing).
So, what happens now?
Like every other artist, I am turning to live streaming and will host all concerts online until at least 2022, barring any sudden changes to the world situation for the better. Right now, I am working on how to do that for the best possible quality in private sessions on Facebook. I am looking for a solid platform for public streaming and will announce where those will be taking place. YouTube seems like a good option, but given their history of attacking content where an artist is performing public domain classical music on behalf of major labels that will never forfeit their algorithmic claims, I am hesitant. Right now I am just weighing my options between accessibility, cost, partnerships, security, etc.
I am also re-launching online private lessons on the piano and electric bass. I had offered online lessons for years, but students always had a preference to come to me (or ask me to drive three hours away to them) for in-person instruction. This current situation means that virtual lessons are pretty much the only lessons you can get at the moment. Personally, I have always preferred lessons online as it means not having strangers come to my home, younger pupils coming in with the flu and spreading it in the winter months, and it’s much easier for me to move from student to student by switching Skype or Facetime calls versus figuring out where people should park on the road and if it impedes traffic on a narrow, dead-end street.
In order to separate some of the heavier stuff on this website (political satire, dark poetry, curse words, horror fiction, etc.) from the learning environment, I have already created a second website just for lessons and will make it a clickable link in the menu here to provide easy navigation when the time comes. I plan on launching that this summer, and hopefully we’ll all have a little more disposable income to spend on personal education, which is not really an option here in May of 2020.
If you enjoy what I offer already, please consider supporting me with that nifty little Tip Jar link to my PayPal.me or consider purchasing my music and artwork. Even a little bit helps right now.
Stay safe, wash your hands, and never leave the house without a biosuit. It’s so good to know what we now live in the world of Half-Life 2.
Just in time for the summer season it’s Doctor Anthony Fauci Flip Flops! Now you can experience the duality of being both a highly respected doctor and a complete moron while sitting around your dingy apartment because the outdoors are closed indefinitely!
Doctor Fauci Flip Flops are adorned with actual quotes from the American doctor/celebrity wannabe that contradict themselves more than a Book of Mormon poorly translated into Garzabomulax. Feel the power that comes by being an accurate smartass and simultaneously an off-the-rails maniac, just like America’s beloved/despised face of the coronavirus pandemic! They are even weighted so as to prevent you from sticking your feet in your mouth! A Fauci Approved Guarantee!
So if you want to tell a panicked and weary citizenry:
“There’s no reason to be walking around with a mask: when you’re in the middle of an outbreak wearing a mask might make people feel a little bit better, and it might even block a droplet, but it’s not providing the perfect protection people think that it is.”
And turn around and say the following in a Congressional testimony without ever retracting, correcting or even acknowledging your previous statements:
“…That in fact you need some supplementation to just physical distancing, and that’s the reason some time ago the recommendation was made, I believe it was Doctor Redfield at the CDC who first said that, but getting some sort of a covering, we don’t want to call it a mask because back then we were concerned we’d be taking masks away from the healthcare providers, but some sort of mask-like facial covering, I think for the time being could be a very regular part of how we prevent the spread of infection.”
Then the walking inconsistencies of Doctor Anthony Fauci Flip Flops are a summer must! Wear them as you tout remdesivir to the American people as a "proven" treatment for the coronavirus despite the easily verifiable fact that the same study you're quoting includes this statement:
"Our trial found that intravenous remdesivir did not significantly improve the time to clinical improvement, mortality, or time to clearance of virus in patients with serious COVID-19 compared with placebo." [Source]
Buy them now before you, your loved ones and everyone in the world dies of COVID-19! Order today! Operators are standing by, at home! Buy, you mindless consumer, it’s the only thing that remains to validate your existence in these unprecedented times!
LEOMINSTER, MA- With compulsory face mask orders taking effect on 6 May by emergency decree of Governor Charlie Baker, local woman and voracious consumer of online conspiracies Dasia Johnson was seen busy at work crafting a protective covering of her own out of tin foil.
“The entire virus is a hoax,” Ms. Johnson said. “It’s nothing but a socialist operation to destroy our economy, confiscate our guns and provide a cover to the military as they rescue deformed mole children from sex traffickers in the sewers of New York City. Film your hospitals; there are no bodies. It’s the greatest lie since the moon landing or 9/11.”
When presented with the facts that none of her ideas are valid, and the possibility that she is actually completely insane, Ms. Johnson shrugged our data off as part of the Illuminati agenda.
“The only thing we have to worry about are 5G networks,” she continued. “That’s what the foil mask is for: 5G causes the symptoms that lying, vaccine pushing doctors allege to be COVID-19. I watched a video on YouTube about how this whole thing was planned so I’m not an idiot sheep like you. Why don’t you wake up?”
Our reporters were then kicked off of Ms. Johnson’s property and threatened with a fully loaded AR-15, illegally modified with a bump stock and with no safety. From inside her home, the sounds of Alex Jones’ Info Wars programming could be heard loudly.
WASHINGTON- After downplaying the approaching coronavirus pandemic on 1 February in a tweet that read:
And again on 3 March where he tweeted:
US Surgeon General Jerome Adams has at last leapt from the high dive and into the pool of insanity by appearing today dressed as an Aztec high priest where he demanded that the American people begin practising human sacrifices to the god Tlaloc in order to cure COVID-19.
“Tlaloc must be appeased,” the Surgeon General said in a press briefing alongside a column of children purchased from their mothers by the US State Department, awaiting their fate. “Tlaloc has infested our nation with plague, our crops will be doomed to wither in the field. We must repent! Tlaloc demands the tears of the young!”
Mr. Adams then proceeded to lead the children outside and towards the National Mall. Members of the National Guard were there to whip and beat the children, ensuring that their tears would wet the earth, before the entire column was ceremoniously immolated before the Smithsonian Castle.
We need a new word here in the year of our Lord 2020, and I have it right here:
This is the term that I am using to describe the ceaseless adverts about COVID-19, being together at home, or otherwise reminding you of the global pandemic when you are desperately trying to take your mind off of the global pandemic.
The other day, I put on Ghost Adventures on the Travel Channel after a storm of notifications from the BBC News app reminded me that death was lurking around every corner of this new reality that I occupy. There were ten ads in the first break and bloody nine of them were about COVID-19, the "new normal," or how we're all in this together.
Fuck off. Just fuck right off.
I can't even tune in to Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network without existential dread pouring forth from my television like a Lovecraftian nightmare. The tendrils of ancient, unholy beasts are always there. Death is just outside the door.
My elderly parents have a decent sized yard with a gazebo and a pool, and they're afraid to go out in that yard for fear that the virus is lurking in the grass or in the trees, and that a little breeze will spread it like a demonic cough right into their faces. The constant news cycle didn't implant these fears by itself, these incessant coronammercials are just as bad, if not worse, than never changing the channel from FOX, CNN or MSNBC.
Big companies, business and the like, I have some advice: Shut the fuck up. If you want to make an impact in "these unprecedented times," stop wasting your money on television ads and put it towards virological research and development, and maybe then we can get back to something remotely ordinary a little sooner.
Until then, shut your holes and realize that nobody wants your shitty car, phone, or Barbie's Quarantine Dream House until we can go about safely and get work again.