WASHINGTON- Amidst a carnival-like atmosphere, ICE director Thomas Homan has recently announced that the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency would be officially joining forces with NAMBLA given the two groups' intensive interest in children, especially young boys.
“NAMBLA has agreed to assist us in the detention of immigrant boys, even going so far as to volunteer their time to guard, groom and prepare the children for deportation.” said Mr. Homan before a crowd of slimy looking men, strangely smiling from beneath their thin moustaches and thick-framed glasses, rubbing their hands together in anxious anticipation.
Several members of NAMBLA were immediately given official ICE agent status and rapidly deployed to the US-Mexico border to begin assisting with the detention and care of arrested migrant children as part of President Trump’s plan to terrorize minority populations and inter them indefinitely in concentration camps.
“This is a huge, throbbing step forward for America and for our great organization,” said NAMBLA member Jimmy A. Hooper, seemingly unable to contain himself. “With our newfound legitimacy, we can remove the age of consent and make America great again in the process!”
When asked if he knew what NAMBLA stood for, or what they represented, Thomas Homan shrugged and stated that so long as they were true patriots with Trump in their hearts, he could care less and that we would find ourselves in a labour camp if we continued to ask any more questions.