TEHRAN- In a move that surprised only Americans, Iran joined the rest of the planet in calling for a regime change in the United States, citing the nation and its uncontrolled military usage as the premiere threat to global security and international peace.
"The United States have created an artificial crisis in our nation and abroad," says Iranian leader Hassan Rouhani. "We've kept our end of the nuclear deal, it's President Trump who has violated it."
Leaders all over the globe have cited the United States' history of falsifying evidence to justify foreign wars, including the sinking of the USS Maine in 1898 and a mystery vial that led to the invasion of Iraq in 2003.
"Americans are quick to criticize imperialism, but run an empire of their own." says Canadian PM Justin Trudeau. "It's quite obvious to everyone else on Earth that their government has been attempting to occupy much of the Middle East for the past fifty years. It needs to stop."
Shinzō Abe of Japan added: "Just look at what happened here when we invaded a continent for oil and war materials. I didn't end well."
When asked for his opinion on an American invasion of Iran, President Vladimir Putin simply winked and gave a light smirk.