Unlike most people, I always start my annual Halloween celebrations early. Usually, this is something I reserve for my old "alter-ego" site with Krowness, but in the past few years, posting on that site hasn't really had the same spark that it used to have for me. Sure, going there from time to time and seeing articles littered with curse words purely for the sake of it alongside other rants is funny, but I also realize how much I've grown over the past several years and that the need to hide my real personality behind a "clown" in order to deflect hurtful comments from trolls and generalized internet ne'er do wells, as well as fears of coming off as "unprofessional" just because I'd like to inject some humour into my writings, feels outdated.
As a result, I'm going to start using my own website to post critiques when I'm feeling the need to review something (a music video, software, an event, etc.) as well as for the occasional satire or comedy infused piece. Most of these are going to move away from the sailor mouthed rantings of my Viking alter-ego, so it'll have a more professional and family friendly flair, but anything that just requires that sort of language will come with a NSFW warning so that younger people (and my own younger students) know to keep on scrolling and ignore it. This is something I've already started with the creative writings I've shared, as many of those touch on more mature subjects or use profanity as a means of expression or tone setting. So from here on out, if I drop a nasty word that would get Ralphie a mouthful of soap, it's only going to be for a good reason and you'll know in advance if the blog post contains such materials!
Anyways, moving into the spirit of the season, I just can't resist sharing one of my favourite costumes from way back when. When I was a kid, I always wanted to be the best dressed when going out for candy, or when I was older and running "the haunt" at home where my dad and I would try to make the scariest display and features (we'd always beat the competition as he had been working for Spooky World). Out of all the costumes I ever had, the two favourites of mine were Duke Nukem (complete with body armour made of foam and an unloaded BB gun) and Torgo.
You don't know who Torgo is? Well, then I have to introduce you to the worst movie ever made! Manos: The Hands of Fate was a mostly obscure flick from the 1960s made on a bet. It involves a family on vacation who gets lost on their way to the Valley Lodge when they stumble upon The Master's polygamous cult (complete with an evil dog) and a satyr named Torgo taking care of his house. This movie became infamous after Mystery Science Theatre 3000 featured it, and it has since gained a cult following amongst MST3K/Rifftrax fans and connoisseurs of B-movies alike. I just had to do a theme off of this after I saw the MST3K version when I was in high school, and I did the best I could!
Since I went to a private school, I wasn't allowed to have a beard (and mine wasn't that thick or course anyway, even at 15), so I used a burned piece of cork to create that part. The walking stick was a branch that fell off a tree across the street from my house, the hat was an Indiana Jones fedora my dad had, and the coat was just my winter jacket. It looked the part. Since I was older, this was a costume to be used in the haunt. My dad was The Master, but re-imagined as a skeletal nightmare maker instead of "guy with a moustache" like the movie.
My favourite part was getting Torgo's irregular accents of words down, and I was amazed by how many people were scared of me! I was a pseudo-satyr with a speech impediment, once they got past me and hit my dad, it was crazy! I got so much free candy from the bags and pieces they dropped as they ran I may as well had gone out as a "Halloweenie"!
Anyways, here's 15-year-old me as Torgo!
Pardon the non-canonical braces.