AREA 51- In a shocking statement made this morning, President Trump has revealed that yes, there was a coronavirus vaccine all along, yes there is a secret military base at Groom Lake, Nevada that has been hushed for decades despite general knowledge of its existence, and yes the government is using chemtrails, but it’s to help you!
As the virus spreads globally, President Trump has promised to protect the United States through a massive chemtrail vaccination program called Operation Anniversary Jacket, and has assured the public that the name was not in fact chosen via a random word generator.
Following his initial statement, the President tweeted:
“This will be the greatest vaccination campaign since we went to war with Spain for the flu shot. That was a nasty one, we lost millions of men for the vaccine but the Democrats will never tell you the truth about the Spanish American War to keep their Hoax Witch Hunt against.....
….Your President going. Not many people know it, but the war for the flu vaccine against the Spanish could have gone on for many years if it were not for the atomic bombs. We will always do whats [sic] right for our peple [sic] #MAGA”
At press time, hundreds of Airbus A380s have been loaded with coronavirus vaccine and will begin “chemtrailing” the nation within hours. Officials recommend that everyone go outside and breathe deep as the vaporous vaccine is dumped overhead.