SAN BRUNO, CA- In yet another desperate bid to do the right thing after it was far too late, YouTube has once again decided to begin punishing its massive base of creators over its own negligence to enforce its own terms of service.
After the website was found to be exploiting children’s privacy in order to rake in millions of dollars for its disgusting, unwashed executives through manipulative and age-inappropriate advertising, the FTC has passed the new Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) which now requires that content creators decide whether or not their material is aimed at kids or not. Failing to do so will result in swift chastisement for users rather than any responsibility falling at YouTube’s greedy and deformed feet.
“Another goddamn gatekeeper has been put in place to prevent my channel from getting beyond my mom as a subscriber,” said 28-year-old content creator Jakob P. Lawrence, who goes by SpoogedRatFur6969 on YouTube. “Now I have to go through all 1683 of my crappy Fortnite videos and mark them as ‘just for kids,’ ‘not for kids,’ or ‘for a mix of both.’ I can’t tell which videos are kid friendly or which ones I’ve raged so hard after losing a match that I’ve exposed myself to the webcam! There’s too many, fuck this!”
When asked for comment, YouTube simply stated “We know that this won't be easy for some creators, and that this required change is going to take some getting used to. While we cannot provide legal advice, we are committed to helping you through this transition” before hanging up on our offices and blocking our number.
Despite the legal repercussions of this matter that could reach individual creators in the form of fines of $42,530 USD per violating video, or even jail time, YouTube stands firmly by its policy of providing no information whatsoever to its users, as is tradition for the company. Creators who have reached out for advice and assistance during this sudden change of policies were greeting with nothing more than a middle finger emoji from the YouTube support team.
Creators and viewers alike noted how this entire debacle could have been avoided if users had just utilized adblockers like normal people, citing how only about 3% of YouTubers make any distinguishable income from their videos, and that several alternatives to ad-revenue exist to allow creators a means to earn a living in a more reliable and legal manner, especially with the advent of PayPal.me.