Following up on their decades’ long tradition of tracking Santa Claus every Christmas Eve, the North American Aerospace Defense Command has updated their website to include an all new Horsemen of the Apocalypse Tracker so that you and your children can follow the harbingers of Armageddon as they make their way around the Earth bringing the punishments of God!
Look: the Horseman of Pestilence has just wrapped up his conquest of North America so you’d better run inside and hope you don’t catch the coronavirus! And just as we’re all busy dealing with that, it looks like War is heading over to the Middle-East again. Oh Iran, America just hates you so much!
Whether you are busy building a fallout shelter in your basement, stocking up on toilet paper, or just hanging out until the Day of Judgment, let the NORAD Horsemen of the Apocalypse Tracker help you decide when is a good time to take cover and beg for mercy!